My weird fascination with fake moustaches

I know it’s not exactly understandable, but there is this part of me that has wanted to buy a false moustache for a year now. With all the memes and the fact that I wanted to just have one… along with a monocle and a top hat. I think the entire costume of a traditional English man just explains how I feel at some points in life.

This attire used to be for high class English men and portrays a sophisticated, serious person, but now in this day and age it’s more for the jokes and laughs. It’s just suitable. In most situations it would break the ice, or make the tension of a conversation disappear! Imagine, someone is stressing over something horribly, and you swipe out of your pocket your false moustache and put it on and you say “AHA! I am Captain Hook!” (alright I know that doesn’t really fit with the costume, but it would still make your friend laugh.)

It could also be useful during classes when you do not know what the answer of a question is and you are called on. For example if my teacher asks me “Explain your thoughts on this passage, Awesome” then I could respond with “my dear instructor, I do not have any thoughts on this matter since I am but a girl with a moustache”. (With the most cheesy British accent). And hopefully they will not question further.

If you plan on buying one you have to take into consideration that there are a variety of different moustaches. There is the toothbrush (hitler-stache) for angry moments, the fu manchu for when you want to act sage like or do kungfu, and many more! You just have to find that false moustache that seems to fit you best.

It is one of my many odd fascinations, but I say this with seriousness:

(I do not speak Spanish.)

And with my hypothetical moustache I bid you good day!

Quint here. Just wanted to say that sometimes I have no idea why this person is my friend … and that I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST!

Quint just doesn’t want to admit she laughed.


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